The United States Military Needs to Invade Norway in order to be Awarded a Nobel Peace Prize

Background:The 2005 Nobel Peace Prize wasresults.What about the US military? Have they ever
awarded to the IAEA. Don't know who they are?been honored? Let's review what they have done.1.
They are the International Atomic Energy Agency.They almost single-handily defeated the empire of
What did they accomplish? I don't know. Did theyJapan in WW II while simultaneously helping the Soviet
prevent the proliferation of atomic weapons in NorthUnion defeat Nazi Germany.
Korea or Iraq? No. But they meant to and that is2. Their presence in Europe after the war maintained
usually good enough for the Nobel Committee. Thesepeace in Europe for 45 years. Has Europe ever seen
Norwegians (the Peace Center is in Oslo, Norway, not45 years of peace?
Stockholm Sweden) are idealists, intentions go a long3. They were the bulwark of NATO forces that
way with them.Let's review some of their otherprotected Europe (that includes Norway) from Soviet
stunning awardees.2004- Wangari Muta Maathai.invasion for 45 years.
Already forget who she was? That was just last4. They have kept the peace on the Korean peninsula
year. She is an AIDS activist and environmentalist. No,for the last 50 years.
she did not get the prize for medicine or chemistry.5. They ended the Cold War and communist
She received the prize for peace. Despite manyhegemony over Eastern Europe.
advanced college degrees, she is an AIDS conspiracy6. They are currently almost single-handily fighting the
nut who thinks that the virus was created by theinternational war on Islamofascism.
western governments to destroy Africans. She was7. They are routinely dispatched to extinguish small
supposedly selected because she drew attention tobrush fire sized wars throughout the world.
political oppression in her fights with her home8. They are routinely dispatched to feed starving
government of Kenya. Drew attention? Did shecountries and respond to natural disasters such as
accomplish anything?2002- Jimmy Carter. Really? Forearthquakes and tsunamis.
his work, where? North Korea? Haiti? Has anything9. They are the only peacekeepers nobody messes
really improved in those two countries since his visits?with. They actually keep the peace.
Maybe former president Carter and the Nobel Peace10. They keep international sea lanes open to
Committee should move to either Haiti or North Korea.trade.That's only ten. I'm sure there are many more. So
Do you prefer to live in Haiti and put up with rovinghere is my plan. In order to give the United States'
gangs? Or is North Korea and their internal securitymilitary a Nobel Prize, we are going to have to invade
forces better for you. Human rights? Whatever.2001-the Peace Center and appoint our own committee
The UN. Where have they ever gone anywhere andmembers. Then we can declare the US military the
made a difference without the US backing them up?winner of a Peace Prize.We can probably do this
But they have good intentions.1994- Yassar Arafat.without hurting anybody. I think Norway is the only
The father of modern day terrorism who became acountry in Europe that surrendered faster than France
multi-millionaire by stealing international aid money fromin 1940. When we arrive on the beaches of Norway all
his own people.1990- Mikhail Gorbachev. He thoughtthose Quislings will probably lie down and surrender.If
that he could reform communism and make it strongerwe have to threaten the use of force we can use this
by giving his people a little freedom. He neveropportunity to test our new F-22 Raptors and drop
understood the events that unfolded. You can't givesome bombs in their fjords. They will surrender before
the people a little bit of freedom.1988- UNwe kill all of their lutefisk. Christmas is almost here and
Peacekeepers. An ad-hoc group of soldiers whothat is lutefisk season.Besides, what have the
usually just stand by and watch events such asNorwegians done for anybody except send Vikings
genocide unfold around them. They will do nothingout to loot, pillage, and burn villages and monasteries?
without the military backing of the US. In fact, they tendAnd they don't like America. They never have. They
to sit around and get bored a lot. So they bide theirsailed here before anyone else and then turned around
time with some favorite activities that include looting,and settled Greenland because they thought that was
rape and child prostitution.1985- International Physiciansa nicer place to live. Sure, they tend to do well in the
for the Prevention of Nuclear War. Now that is a nobleWinter Olympics. But that is only because every event
calling. One problem. This organization was a KGBrevolves around skiing and Norway is covered in snow
puppet that was organized to try to curb US nuclearfor 46 weeks out of the year. This coincides nicely
power. It was chaired by Yevgeny Chazov, a memberwith the 46 weeks of vacation the average
of the Central Committee of the Communist Party ofNorwegian worker receives each year.I'm sure the
the Soviet Union. Now that was a pleasant group ofUnited Nations would spring into action and send some
peace loving people.Ronald Reagan. Oh no, I'm sorry,peacekeepers in two or three years. We can then
my bad. They didn't give one to him in 1985/86 whenleave and let the Norwegians bitch slap them around.
he refused to back down to the Soviets with his SDI.Meanwhile if the UN tries sanctioning the US, we can
Or in 1987, when he gave his "Mr. Gorbachev Tearsanction them. We can withhold more of our dues, lock
Down this Wall" speech. These two events led to thethem out of their own building in New York City, and
end of World War III, aka, the Cold War. Conservativesmake them pay their parking tickets.Don't get me
are not allowed to win the prize, even if they do getstarted on the UN. Not today.