| This just in ... The annual Thanksgiving Day parade in | | | | break room whispering about "being taken more |
| New York City started off as any other, until 11:30 am | | | | seriously". NYC police investigators did find a parade |
| EST when a helium filled balloon attacked two | | | | route map with a large red X at an intersection |
| unsuspecting parade viewers by entangling a lamppost | | | | accompanied with pictures of a lamppost and related |
| and knocking it down into the crowd. Apparently, the | | | | mounting hardware from multiple vantage points.These |
| disgruntled 515 lb. M&M inflatable parade decoration's | | | | items were found in the parade staging area stuffed |
| occupants felt quite unhappy about always being held | | | | underneath a crate labeled M&M Balloon. Due to the |
| down year after year, never being allowed to soar to | | | | fact this evidence was hidden in such a haphazard |
| their full potential.Witnesses say the 50 ft. tall blow up | | | | way, police can only surmise there was a last minute |
| mascot, containing both Yellow and Red, started the | | | | review for both suspects before launching their assault. |
| early morning hours with a full scale passive resistance | | | | Both victims of the attack were treated for minor |
| movement by refusing to be inflated and purposing | | | | injuries and released from Bellevue Hospital in |
| tangling their own tethers in the hopes of showing the | | | | Manhattan. Both Yellow and Red are currently being |
| other balloons the power of one. Yellow and Reds | | | | held without air back in their storage crate. An |
| owner, Mr. Mars, said that he suspected something | | | | investigation is pending. |
| was peculiar when he caught the two last month in the | | | | |