Mean Animals I Have Known

Mean Animals I Have Knownterrain with a rather tall carpet of green. I was sitting
Byin a position where I could see across the canyon
Thom Cantrallbelow to the ridge opposite. Adam was to my right,
Âup the ridge about a quarter mile (400 m) away and
           Once againnear where the two ridges united. Greg had taken
I find life and Hollywood to be at odds. In all theup his position by going to my left, down the ridge,
movies I've ever seen wherein animals are actuallycrossing a drainage and up onto the side of the next
allowed to appear as themselves, in their realridge, giving him an excellent view of the lower end of
personae and not some Disneyesque scenario wherethe ridge opposite. What had caused us to assume
wild animals are portrayed as living in family groupsthis alignment was our having spotted a gang of elk on
with Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear living inthe ridge beyond, coming up out of the Mosquito
harmony with their bunny and squirrel neighbors, theCreek drainage. And, this gang was moving slowly
mean ones, if depicted at all are conspicuouslyand unconcernedly in our direction. A quick war
obvious. Who could but realize immediately uponcouncil produced this deployment with the agreement
seeing him that Shere Kahn is absolutely up to noon the point that when they reached the top of that
good and wishes nothing but evil to the "man cub" inridge opposite, chances were that they would either
"The Jungle Book"?turn to my right, up the ridge or turn to my left, down
           Even whenthe ridge. If the former case came about, they
actual animals are playing the part of animals, oftenwould run directly in Adam. If the latter, they would
with the help of plastic stand-ins, we are not allowedbottom out and be directly in Greg's sights. I, being
the honor of determining for ourselves the level ofthe rookie, was in the rocking chair and hoping just to
innate goodness embodied therein. "Jaws", forget an opportunity.
example could not make an appearance without beingThe plan worked exactly as designed. The elk hit
introduced with a blood chilling rendition of somethe crest of the ridge and turned to my right, uphill. I
soul-tingling mood music. I know that one Greatcould see them as they fed and moved through the
White Shark bears a strikingly close resemblance toyoung timber. Never long enough for a shot, but I
any other Great White Shark much the same as onecould see them. Occasionally I could see antlers,
crow bears an exact resemblance to any other crowusually poking above the trees. Never could I see
in the world. But, that not withstanding, did we needboth antler and animal simultaneously until, finally, at the
to be told that this creature was dangerous?Âhead of that spur ridge in a small clear spot, there he
Wouldn't the simple appearance of a tall fin jutting outwas. A young bull he was, to be sure, but a nice
of the water tell us his intentions?one for a rookie. Slowly I raised my brand new
           As aRemington .30-'06 and took careful aim. I judged the
person who has spent a great percentage of his liferange at a bit under three hundred yards (270 m) and
among God's Creatures, I can attest to anyone sowas snuggling into the sling of my rifle… the
inclined that no such warnings as those describedcross hairs of my scope were just settling in place
above have ever preceded any close encounter ofwhen a very loud shot rang out and all I could see of
the malevolent kind among Mother Nature's children.Âthe bull in the scope were four elk feet flailing in the
Not once have I ever heard theair! Adam, obviously, had been in absolutely perfect
tum-tum-tum-tum… tum-tum-tum-tum that Jawsposition.
engendered when approaching any critter that mightWith the report of the rifle, the gang immediately
wish me ill!turned back down the ridge, obviously planning their
           In my singleescape back down the ridge to the bottom and
digit and very early double digit years I spent well overthence slipping into the standing, old-growth timber
seventy-five percent of the daylight and a substantialunseen. Again, I could see them slipping through the
portion of the not-so-daylight hours when not servingbrushy timber without giving me opportunity for a
time in that venerable institution that was the bane ofshot. Again, I could see antlers above the brush, but
my ilk… School… anywhere but under athen…. Directly across the canyon on the side
roof.of the ridge about a hundred feet (30 m) below the
Much of this time was invested in exploring everycrest, the herd was on a trail that brought them into
square foot of my uncle's ranch and the surroundingthe open for a short distance. By this time, they
environs. Fences held no meaning for me at thiswere in single file and moving at a slow trot. At the
juncture and location other than a necessaryparticular point in question, each animal in turn had to
inconvenience meant to keep livestock restricted to ajump a downed log and was then in full view for about
predetermined area… more or less, consideringthree to four body lengths at which time the animal
the shape in which most of these backwoods fencesdisappeared back into the jungle of growth. It was
were kept.like a shooting gallery. The range was good, about
           Many oftwo-hundred-twenty-five yards (200 m) and about
them had been erected by the Spanish when Generallevel. The shot, while it had to be done without
Mariano Vallejo had owned this vast Northernwasted time, was doable.
California domain and had seen little in the way ofI watched eagerly, my scope locked on each head as
maintenance since that time. To say that mostit appeared in queue, awaiting a turn at the gallery
were decrepit would have been liberal injump. When a set of small antlers appeared in the
description… actually, most were worse thanlineup, I slipped the safety off and waited as the cows
that. As a consequence, this was pretty much openand calves ahead of him cleared the way. Soon, he
range to both the cattle and sheep that grazed thesewas there… his head held high as he jumped
timber and brushlands as well as to small boys whothe fallen obstacle without seeming effort and landed
were, truly, pint sized disciples of Lewis and Clark, Kitin the open area. He took one more shuffling step
Carson and Jedediah Smith. But, I digress…to catch his balance and I heard the report of my
           This ranchrifle. I do not recall ever feeling the recoil. The
was home to about four or five million Westernshot was true as I watched the hair jump just behind
Rattlesnakes. Indeed, it seemed that thesehis left front shoulder and he stopped still in his
rattlesnakes were the only thing that did grow intracks. Since he was still on his feet, I worked the
profusion on this back-woods ranch. Now, perhapsbolt and jacked a second round into the chamber.Â
I've exaggerated a bit, but suffice it to say that theyAgain, the hair jumped right next to the first hit as the
were common and they grew large. I know thatone-hundred-sixty-five grain Speer bullet found its
the official records say that this snake does notmark. But, again, he did not fall. Neither did he
exceed five feet (1.52 m) in length, but I could havemove. It was as if time was standing still and all else
shown those experts several specimens thatin the world had disappeared except that bull elk and
exceeded that conservative length considerably.Âme. There were no other elk in existence… I
Probably the largest I ever saw personally was onehad no companions, no family, and no purpose except
my cousin Shirley killed under the clothesline just outas concerned that bull. Once more, I worked the
the back door of the house. This snake measuredbolt.
over six feet (2 m) in length without its head. ThisI knew I had two lethal shots in him and was amazed
snake had a girth of over eight inches (19.3 cm) andat his ability to remain upright. That he was shaken
looked particularly menacing. For the most part, theand wounded mortally, I knew, but I was determined he
only time we ever killed a rattlesnake is when it was innot suffer. Always, I had prided myself on the fact
proximity to the house or could pose a danger tothat no animal I had ever taken had required more than
some of us. While I know that television tends toone shot to dispatch. That a Roosevelt Bull Elk
portray the rattlesnake in a coiled position, head poisedcould carry a lot more lead than a deer was a fact
to strike and rattles singing, I actually saw that in thethat I understood intuitively and was just now learning in
wild so rarely that I thought for many years that wereal time. For my third shot, I took a bit more time
had demented or, at least, unnatural snakes. Yes,and located where the bone ran through his neck. I
when provoked, our snakes would coil and assumewas sure he was not moving with two rounds in his
that classic pose, but it was an extremely rareboiler room… now I was going to put one into
circumstance, for sure, when a snake let forth with hishis wheelhouse. I felt that the range was a bit
singing buzz. Generally speaking, he had to beexcessive to effect one into his brain, so chose the
provoked heartily to induce that buzz. Normally, assecond-best location. Once more, I could see the
soon as he was no longer being prodded or poked, hehair on his neck jump as the heavy bullet created its
just uncoiled and slithered on about his rattlesnakeeffect.
business without so much as a "by your leave" orSlowly, after this shot, the bull's knees began to
even a glance back. Though, he would probablybuckle. Like a punch-drunk fighter viewed in
have shaken his head and shrugged his shoulders, hadslow-motion, he folded slowly, one leg at a time and he
he had them, at the ignominy of this treatment he hadeased to the ground, taking care, I was sure, not to
received.bruise any of his delicious meat. I watched as he
           The onecrumpled like an empty potato chip bag until he was
notable exception to this general rule occurred oneprostrate on the steep sidehill. Then, like that bag
warm spring day when Tony, our trusty and tiredunfolding on its own, a leg jerked
saddle horse, and I were returning from a morning'sspasmodically… A second kick caused him
excursion to the edge of the wilderness, an area ofto roll down the hill a bit. Soon, another kick and he
immature Madrone trees about two inches (5 cm) intumbled even further down the ridge.
diameter and twenty feet (7 m) tall that had been killed"Aha," I said to myself, "how wonderful! He'll be so
in a fairly recent wildfire that had passed through themuch easier to dress out at the bottom of the ravine
area. This created a nightmarish land ofthan he would be on that steep sidehill. I'd probably
soot-covered stems reminiscent of a black bamboohave to drag him down to the bottom
jungle. Only the foolish ever entered theanyway…"
Wilderness… a second time. On the morningOh, how naïve can a rookie be? I had totally
in question we had just made the trek for much thefailed to reckon with the fact I had just harvested one
same reason people climb mountains…of the really mean elk in all of creation. All elk
because they are there. It had been a pleasanthunters know intuitively that trophy elk do not live
foray and had served to clear my mind of theabove the road as this would make the pack out to
cobwebs engendered during the previous week by Mr.be much too easy. Even if one should be caught
Wilson, my fifth grade teacher in his never-endingtraversing that "no-elks-land" they will do everything
quest for dangling participles or split infinitives orthey possibly can to rectify their faux pas and
something of the sort. The ride had workedimmediately light out for the very bottom of darkest,
wonders on my over-taxed nervous system, servingbrushiest hole imaginable, there to die. Thus, in their
to remind me that if a noun wanted to dangle itspassing, they can inflict the greatest possible distress
gerund, it was by no means my fault!Âon the hapless hunter who was inexperienced enough
           I wasto have taken his life! I once had a Pastor of a local
smiling inwardly and drowsing outwardly in the latechurch swear to me that he had taken a nice bull
morning sun. Tony, for his part, was taking it allabove the road in such a position that he had but to
pretty much in stride and was nearly as asleep as Iback his truck up to the bank at the side of the road
was. The road we were on was no proper road,and slide the animal in whole, thereby retrieving him
but a cat trail cut out by the massive blade of myalmost without effort. I was skeptical but not
uncle's venerable TD-24 bulldozer in the quest for thewanting to disbelieve the clergy when I found out he
huge Coastal Redwood trees (Sequoia Sempervirons)was also a fisherman! Now I was torn terribly trying
that grew there. These cat roads laced theto believe his most wild story. As he continued, it
mountainside, providing the foot-weary a fairlycleared itself up for me. It seems he was forced to
comfortable place to walk. They were, at least,stop for some construction work on the road he was
brush free and coated in about six or so inches (9 cm)using when the timber cutting crew lost control of a
of loose, flowing dust. The dusty trail was thetree they were falling and it dropped right across the
morning newspaper of the mountainside. In it youbed of his truck… I tell you, those elk will do
could read the travels of the local denizens…ANYTHING to get even! I'm now quite sure that
deer, lizards, snakes, mice, skunks raccoons andanimal's being above the road was just a ploy to lure
weasels… they all left note of their passing forthe unwary into a position where his truck could be
the alert reader.squashed like a june bug.
           On thisThis is a trait common to all elk and subsequent
particular day, however, "alert" was not a word I wouldharvests have led me from the depths of
use to describe either Tony of myself. I was"Ohmygawd Canyon" to swamps so mean and
slumped in the saddle, nearly asleep in the sun, theforeboding that the fauna has regressed several
reins wrapped loosely around the pommel... My feetstages on the evolutionary scale (I mean, have you
were dangling on either side of the horse, free of theever seen a flying lizard?). These outings have
stirrups. All in all, it was about as pleasant a morningserved to teach me this fact. However, what this
as a lad of my few years could have imagined untilyoung bull did was way beyond the scale of ordinary
we rounded a curve and, directly under Tony's belly ameanness. Upon reflection, I cannot recall a single
rather large rattler let out with a very loud andtime when an elk just went peaceably and stayed
penetrating buzz that immediately served to transformwhere he fell.
an idyll into a nightmare.In this land of excessive moisture, the rain creates
           Imany strange phenomena. The more than two
immediately recognized the sound for what it was and,hundred inches (500 cm) of annual precipitation causes
unfortunately, so did Tony. His immediate reaction,the land to be conformed to the water's needs. In
born of an innate, if heretofore unknown, dread ofthis case, these pressure ridges, as we were now on,
large rattlesnakes, was to launch himself straightcreated by a long ago, long gone glacier several
vertical for a considerable distance. I'll have to leavethousand years ago were not made of solid rock, but
the exact altitude attained to one's imagination as, atof alluvial materials like sand and gravel. At the
that moment, I was much too busy for quantitativebottom of the gully, between the ridges, the excessive
research.water flow had created a trench very much like that
           Words mycreated by a backhoe when installing underground
father had uttered only a week or so prior, on theutilities. This trench was approximately eight feet
occasion of my arriving back at the barn on Tony and(2.5 m) in depth and three feet (1 m) in width. The
being in the saddle but sound asleep, came to mind...Âsides were perfectly vertical and water ran in the
"Thomas (actually, he called me Tommy… abottom. The ditch looked so unstable to me that, if it
habit I could not break him of his entire life!) one ofhad been a construction project, no man would have
these days something is going to spook him and he'sever been allowed in it without shoring the walls.
going to throw you so high the crows will have time toAs I hiked down the hill from my ambush point, I was
build a nest in your behind (actually, my dad's languagebeing soaked by the gallons and gallons of water that
being as colorful as it was, "behind" was not the exacthad been suspended on the needles of the young
word he used here) before you hit the ground!"Âspruce and hemlock trees I was bulling my way
That, along with certain other predictions regarding thethrough to reach the place where I expected to find
effects on my anatomy of some of my antics servedmy elk. Looking back on that today, my worrying
to suggest to me that he would have had a fair futureabout that water was very much like worrying about
as a prophet had he chosen to pursue that end.Âspilling a cup of water on oneself just before falling out
With maturity, something you could have gotten prettyof the boat. It took me nearly an hour to fight my
long odds, in this era, against my ever surviving longway through brush as thick as the hair on a shaggy
enough to reach, has come the realization that,dog's back to reach the bottom of that gully. I could
perhaps, "Natural Consequence" may have had morereadily see the path in the more open sidehill the bull
to do with his prognostications than did any sense ofhad made in his "kick it loose and let it roll" routine he
the supernatural or ethereal.used to expand his meanness to stellar proportions.
           It amazesThe thick brush I had been negotiating ended a few
me even today, more than a half century later, howfeet from the very bottom of the gully, providing a
clearly those thoughts came to mind while I was still inclear area approximately eight feet in width extending
the ascent stage and was diligently applying what Iup and down the gully. I could not believe my good
knew of , added to what I was learning of the physicsfortune in seeing this… Imagine, an area of clear
of flight, even while contemplating theground on which to work! A five hundred pound
inevitable… Somewhere below me was a(225 kg) plus animal is hard enough to move around
crazed horse and, below him, an angry, vociferousfor dressing in any place or position. Doing so in
rattlesnake. Even though I was still gaining altitude atbrush or on steep ground can be terrible. I was
the moment of this thought, I knew that, eventually,nearly ecstatic, then, at finding this boon. And, that
gravity being what it was, I was going to going to haveecstasy lasted the full two minutes or so it took me to
to effect a landing. Although I was, at present,break through the last of the heavy cover and see the
navigating quite well, I was not at all sure that suchhorrible truth of what this animal had done as his last
benevolent circumstances would long continue, letact of defiance. All that was to be seen where I
alone persevere.would have supposed this beast to be was the marks
           While timeof his last struggle as he managed to heave himself
seemed to hang suspended, I could feel myself losingbodily into that trench in the bottom of the gully.Â
velocity as I neared the apogee of my short flight.ÂWith no small amount of trepidation, I inched forward
Soon, I felt the rush of air as my direction of flightslowly, peering expectantly into that hole even while
reversed and my velocity once more began todreading the confirmation of what I new was true.
increase at the rate of, I was to learn many yearsWhat greeted me was a sight indescribable. Lying
later, thirty-two feet (11 m) per second for everyin the bottom of that hole I could see a foreleg, or
second of my descent. At this point, my thoughtsmaybe two hind legs and one eye. He lay in such a
began to change from the esoteric investigation ofjuxtaposed position I am convinced there were forces
non-powered flight to the entirely mundane…other than random chance at work here. I doubt
Where the HELL (this being about the strongestsincerely that he could have become so sincerely
language at my command at this time) is that snake?misaligned by mere chance. In addition, he was now
           I must say,acting as a really nice dam in the stream running at the
as earth became larger and larger in my window ofbottom of the trench and was rapidly creating a rather
vision, much the same image the Apollo Astronautsnice lake on his upstream side.
would have seen about a decade and a half later, thatIt was at least six feet (2 m) from the lip of the trench
snake began to occupy more and more of myto the animal and he filled another short distance with
working mind. As the conjectural thoughts werehis body. The walls were perfectly vertical for as
pushed aside in favor of the essential, I began tofar as I could see in either direction, affording me no
detect, on the very periphery of my awareness, a loud,easy access or egress anywhere within sight. I
eerie screeching that seemed to fill the air with itsfound a convenient stump left over from the logging of
essence. A small portion of my conscious thoughtthis area and sat down to contemplate my situation.
was being hijacked by the weird sound. About thisAs I pondered the improbability of this, a shot rang out
time it dawned on me that, of the three players in thisfrom Greg's direction. Vaguely, I recalled another
incongruous drama, there was only one capable offrom that area a bit earlier. More than likely, this last
generating that kind of output. As in the science ofshot finished what the prior one had started…
criminology, when the impossible is eliminated, what iswhich meant, Adam being busy with his own bull from
left is probably the truth. So it was that in this case,earlier and, now, Greg with his, I was entirely on my
neither horse nor snake was capable of  that tone,own. I was sure that I could expect no help so
therefore, that left only me as the author of thatwhat was to be was up to me.
sound… a fact that, while it did little to attenuateThe rain was falling, not in drops any longer, but in vast
the volume, it did serve to remove one source ofsheets of water. Looking down the draw, I could
stress from my already tortured psyche.see wave after wave of water being driven before
           Now, therethe wind. In places, where the wind swept up the
was only one prime thought remaining… whereridge, the water was hurled up the ridge, a vanguard to
the hell is that snake? Very soon, like the pilot saidthe wind. It was actually raining uphill! I have
at his Board of Inquiry following the crash of his fighternever, before or since, witnessed this exact
plane… "I ran out of air speed, altitude and ideasphenomenon, but there it was this cold, windy and wet
simultaneously"… I found myself measuring myNovember day.
length in the deep dust of the road. As I layI finally, after much soul-searching, removed my outer
prostrate, still wondering where that snake was, I couldgarments, coat, vest, raingear, etc. and piled them on
hear Tony making tracks as fast as he could downthe stump that had served as my throne and, keeping
the mountain. He seemed nothing more than intentonly my venerable Buck Knife, my small hand axe and
on putting as much distance as he could betweenbone saw from my belt sheath, I jumped from the lip
himself and that snake… wherever heof the trench into its bowels.
was… as possible in the shortest possibleI have never seen such a sight. I didn't have an elk
time. As I lay there in the dirt sucking the needleslying in a ditch; I had a pile, a lump even, of elk lying in
and leaves off nearby trees and shrubs in the effortthe bottom of that ditch. Looking up, it appeared
to get air flowing into my lungs once more, I began tothat I was being buried in the groin of Mother Earth
take stock of my anatomy. Without the benefit ofherself. With a sigh, I pushed all thoughts aside and
mirrors or other paraphernalia, I made the assessmentbent to the task at hand.
that everything seemed to be pretty much as it wasMy first several attempts at moving the animal merely
prior to the ordeal, all of three seconds before.resulted in falling debris and waves of water as I
The snake was not in evidence, having departedunblocked, momentarily, the river that was being
during the debacle just described. Tony was gone,detained by the body lodged in the bottom. I
but I had no concern for him. He knew the waystopped a moment and reassessed my situation. I
back to the barn better than I did and I had no doubtlooked over the situation in minute detail and, believe
but that I'd next see him when I got to the bottom ofme, there was no little part of it that was
the mountain, standing at the gate, probably grumblingcomforting. At last, I thought I had a handle on what
because he hadn't been fed yet.needed to be done to untangle this mass of elk and
I spent a few minutes assessing my condition, testingarrange it in line with the flow of the trench. This, at
my extremities and, in general, wondering where in hellleast, would afford me the opportunity of dressing out
that snake was. Finally, having decided that littlethe animal and, possibly, rendering it into pieces of a
further could be gained from my present position, Imanageable size that it might, eventually, be removed
tentatively began to rise. It was not the easiest taskfrom the hole. My years of untangling backlashes
I've ever performed but almost everything seemed tofrom my fishing reels stood me in good stead in getting
work fairly well so, timidly at first but soon with morethis job accomplished.
strength and purpose, down the road I moved. IBy pulling on one foreleg until I got it free then
was sure that Tony was gone and that I wasscrambling across the lump of elk and into the growing
resigned to the long walk home on shaky and achylake of ice water on the uphill side, there to extricate a
legs.hind leg from its trap, I was able to effect some
About three curves down the hill, standing to one sideprogress. Back across the carcass again to find
of the skid road was Tony, his reins were dangling,the other foreleg only to find the antlers buried in to the
effectively ground-hitching him and allowing me tobank, holding the head firmly in place… directly
catch up the reins, mount the saddle and ride into theon top of the misfolded appendage I was trying to
ranch yard in triumph, head held high rather than havingliberate. On and on, back and forth for the better
to sore-foot it the last two miles in from the site of mypart of an hour I worked to get this mean critter into
encounter.an orientation that would allow me to begin the
My even more unkempt than usual condition and myarduous task of butchering. By the time I managed
rather labored movements finally clued my parentsto get five hundred pounds of dead elk arranged as I
that all was not pure peaches and cream in mywanted him, I was drenched to the skin, covered in
world. The severe interrogation to which I wasmud and muck and ruing the day I had ever heard of
subjected finally served to get the story of theelk. It should be noted at this point that, although I
meanest rattlesnake in all of Northern California out ofmay have described this in words that would make
me… only to incite paroxysms of mirth from theone think it was a pleasant, joyous occasion… it
entire family, parents, siblings, aunt and uncle andwas not! However, in terms of what was yet to
cousins, at my expense… probably thecome, this interlude might well be taken as high, easy
meanest thing that snake did. And, I never did figureliving.
out where he had gotten to… I was justAt last I had wrestled him into a position in which I could
eternally grateful that he was not still there when Ibegin the dressing. As soon as I had vented the
arrived, returning from my aborted free-flight.animal, I began to encounter problems caused by the
As is usual with mean animals, there was absolutely noproximity of the vertical walls. I could not roll the
warning before he sang out in that especially loudanimal to allow easy extraction of the offal, so I had to
voice…er… tail in his case. In fact, it isremove it by hand, over the aft end, piece by piece.Â
precisely this proclivity in some individuals to remainBy now, Icy Lake, formed by Elk Dam, had drained
silent until I am entirely within their snare and am atsufficiently that I could move the offal out of the water.
peace with the world before launching their attack thatWhen, at last, I determined him to be as clean as I
marks them as particularly mean animals!could make him in my present place and circumstance,
One of the past masters of this subterfuge resides inI began the task of reducing him to carriable
the forested areas of the Pacific Northwest. He isproportions. I thought that six would be
a rather small bird, too small to account for the amountappropriate. To this end, I removed his head and
of terror he can author. He seldom is as large as aantlers and placed them in a safe spot. I then
bantam hen, but his ability to raise his victim's bloodremoved both front shoulders. This, while not near
pressure to near explosive levels is unparalleled inas easy as it would have been on open ground, was
nature. The usual scenario generallynot overly difficult. The hind quarters, however,
involves…were a totally different matter. Normally, with the
The morning had been eventful. Elk were around inanimal on its back, it is a relatively simple matter to
good numbers and had provided shot opportunities onmake a cut at the joint, allowing the weight of the hind
a couple of occasions on smaller bulls. It was earlyquarter itself to pull it way from the carcass. By
in the season though and I was holding out forsimply extending the cut as the quarter falls away, it is
something better, ignoring my long-standing tenet ofsoon completely severed, the hip joint being a ball and
"never turn down on the first day what you wouldsocket joint that is easily popped loose.
take on the last day." The vagaries of archerySuch is life in a perfect world. My world, at the
hunting for elk being what it was, one was never safemoment, was far from adequate, let alone perfect. I
in the assumption that further chances wouldcould not effect the cuts as I normally would because
eventuate that would offer good shots. But, I wasthe walls held the legs nearly vertical, not allowing
adamant. I wanted a nice bull if I could get one, andgravity to aid in the process. Add to this the fact
if one always takes a small one first, he will neverthat Rigor was, by this time, setting in and one can see
have the opportunity to take a large one.the situation was deteriorating rapidly. It was pure
The sun was making brief appearances from time togut-busting, mule-hauling work to get those hind
time and it had not rained in over two hours when Iquarters separated from the carcass and by the time
caught wind of elk nearby. It must be noted that elk,it was completed, I was nearly in as bad shape as
though beautiful are not fastidious and they do notwas that elk.
bathe. Hence, they smell like a barnyard. And, aThe last step in my butchering process was to split the
large group of them smells like a large barnyard.Âcarcass transversely, across the carcass just above
That is what I was catching now… the aromathe sixth rib yielding a fairly flat chunk of meat that
of a group, properly called a gang, of elk somewherewas the prime of primes in elk. On this was
very close. The terrain was flat and somewhatcontained the tenderloin and the choicest steaks.Â
swampy. The timber was sparse, but regular in itsThe other half contained some fine steaks as
growth. The main growth was the ubiquitous Salalwell… the T-bones and the rib steaks as well
Brush (Galtheria Shallon). Salal grows everywhereas the chuck steaks were here with a lot of fine
in this country, and is, indeed a major economicelk. It also included the ribs and brisket as well as
commodity in this area as it is harvested and used inthe neck.
floral arrangements in the cities of the west.ÂBy the time I had completed the butchering, I was
Entwined in this lush growth of Salal is the scourge ofexhausted. While deciding my next move, I sank
northwest loggers, Pacific Blackberry (Rubusdown to rest, using a hind quarter of elk as my
Ursinus). There is just enough of it here to serve asseat… a load of round steak supporting a round
a major tripping hazard, tying the hiker's legs securelybutt… and began to think how I was going to
to the ground as his body continues onward on itsget out of this predicament. Obviously, I could not
trek. The result is, often, a loud crash and a burst ofget out the way I had come in, gravity being what it
profanity. The fact that this simple shrub is thewas, so that left only two options… up the
major food source for the Columbian Blacktail deertrench or down the trench. As soon as my heart
that live here does little at this moment to redeem it inrate returned to a near normal rate, I arose and,
the eyes of the tripee.shouldering one forequarter, began my trek down the
On this morning, I was especially careful of it. I wasbottom of the trench, praying for a spot where the
moving across this area of sparse timber most quietly,sides were low enough to let me get out of the hole.
easing my way to where I might see the elk I wasIt seemed like hours had passed and miles walked
smelling. On and on I moved, step after silentbefore the lip of the trench began to do dip to greet
step. From one tree to the next until, at last, I wasme. Slowly and cautiously I crept along, my load
seeing elk moving through the timber. There weregaining weight with each step all the while issuing
several animals present and I had seen at least oneprayers for the lessening of the depth to continue.Â
set of antlers through the trees. I was inching everFinally, at last, my head was above the ground level
so much closer. Already I had passed up a smalland I waited no longer, but lifted that front quarter from
bull and some cows, the larger bull now in full sight justmy shoulder and onto the ground outside the
ahead. I was slowly closing the range ontrench. It really felt like I'd covered at least a mile, but
him… Fifty yards… forty yards…it was, as I learned by pacing the distance on my
nearer and nearer to the twenty-five yards (22.5 m) toreturn trip, only about five hundred feet (350 m).Â
which my wooden recurve bow limited me. Just asFour more trips I made with the meat from that bull
I was to the point that I felt that I might consider a shot,and I had only the chest cavity remaining. I was out
I took that one more step that is so often fateful.Âof gas and out of ideas on how to move that large,
From out of the brush at my feet burst a small ball ofbulky bull down my rapidly deteriorating route when I
feathers in the form of a ruffed grouse. He washeard my name being called.
mean enough to beat me mercifully with his wings asWhile grinning so widely that I threatened to break my
he made his ascent and his escape! If I could haveface, I hollered back. When a second call asked if I
maintained my composure, I could have caught him inneeded help, I screamed for rope and my packboard,
my hat as he passed by, but, alas, such was not toa couple of items I had neglected to bring with me
be. One cannot imagine the amount of noise such awhen I dove into this hell-hole. I guess I was more
tiny creature can make with just his wings in theinterested in keeping them safe and dry in my truck
morning air. Add to that the fact that he wasthan I was in actually using either. That was a
actually multiplying that by the factor of his wingsmistake I never repeated in all the years I hunted
actually beating me physically.elk. From that day onward, I never left my truck
Of course, the elk were long gone, having no morewithout a length of rope wrapped around me.
desire to deal with the small tyrant than I had, but theyI put the question of what to do about that last piece
had a clearer field in which to maneuver than did I withof meat on hold until I had help here with me. In the
my feet tied to the ground by blackberry vines, mymeantime, I recuperated. I knew the job was far
heart was now in the proximity of my Adams applefrom complete as, even if both Adam and Greg came
and still on the rise… the air around me still bluein, it would still mean two trips apiece back up that
from the expletive that managed to slip out while mymountain through that brushy jungle with more than a
mind was otherwise engaged with the problems ofhundred pounds (45 kg) of elk strapped to the
dealing with killer grouse!packframes.
On a scale of one to ten in meanness, that grouse hadIn a few minutes, I heard the chatter of men as the
to rate at least a twelve or thirteen. I did manage tobrush snapped and an occasional curse rang out,
survive that unmitigated attack and even to take moresignaling a foot caught up in a root or a vine or
elk in the future, but that didn't stay me from mysuch. It dawned on me suddenly that this was the
newest sport… skewering grouse with my bownoise of more than just two men. In fact, when the
and arrow whenever the opportunity presented itself!brush finally parted, not only Greg and Adam popped
Lest one begins to think that it is only the alive andout, so did three good friends from town. I could not
aware animal that is capable of inflicting pain andbelieve that they were actually there, having told us not
torture on the unwary or under prepared, please noteto expect them until late as work commitments would
that there are several species that bear enough malicecost them opening day of the season. There were
to continue their retribution even past the curtain thatnow six of us. Bob, Leon and Larry had found our
signals the end of mortality. One of the meanest oftrucks parked and had heard the shooting so had
these was an elk that went beyond the call if duty infigured we had animals down and could use some
creating torment.help. This being before the present era when the
It was a rainy morning that opening day of elk seasonworld was not overrun with thieves, we did not
so many years ago. It was the first such seasonremove the keys from a vehicle when we parked as
and my first foray into the jungle of huge stumps,it may need to be moved to allow access to
ancient timber and young re-growth timber that is theanother. Thus, the three got out packboards and
west side of Washington's Olympic Peninsula.such gear as they felt we would need and started in
The Navy, just a few months prior, had seen fit toto find us. I was deep in my long rut when they
honor my first choice of duty station on my transfercalled out at first, so I did not hear them. Greg and
from the submarine I'd served aboard for the previousAdam, however, did. In fact, they were within a
five years. POMFPAC, Polaris Missile Facility, Pacific,stone's throw of Adam and he guided them on to
was to be my home for the next, and last, two yearsGreg.
of my service. This facility was located on what isI cannot express the joy I felt on seeing their homely
now the Submarine Base at Bangor, WA, home to themugs, and told them as much! It was the work of
Pacific Trident Missile Fleet. Housing shortage in thebut a few moments to tie a rope to that last hunk of
area at the time of my arrival… "most criticalcarcass and to pull it out of the hole. They had
since WW II" the newspaper headlines announced oneven determined a better route out. Basically, it
the day of my arrival… forced me to make anfollowed the trail the elk had used in coming down that
alteration to my original plan and to take a militaryridge so long ago and led us directly to the junction of
house on the Naval Ammunition Depot Annex onthe ridges and to our trucks. I broached the
Indian Island, near Port Townsend, about thirty miles (50possibility that I might get a ride out on one back or
km) north of the base. This proved a mostanother, but the fact that I soon realized that the only
fortuitous circumstance as it landed me among theway this was going to happen is if I were willing to go
worst of bad company… a band of hard corethe same way that elk was going… in six
elk hunters.pieces did much to cool my ardor at what I had really
From the time I met Greg and Adam in June untilthought to be a viable idea just moments
season opened in November, we talked elk. Beingbefore… An hour later, after much discussion of
the new boy on the block, I listened andthe sanity of anyone who'd venture into that hole, we
listened… and listened some more. Manywere all at the truck enjoying a cold drink and a warm
were the tales of the elk trails followed, the elk seenmeal of Chef Boyardee that was whipped up on a
and of the ruggedness of the country traversed. ItColeman stove. Although it was just simple fare,
was this last that I, in retrospect, didn't listen to quiteheated quickly and served directly from the pan, it was
closely enough.possibly one of the finer, most welcome repasts I
Opening morning of elk season 1968 found me on ahave ever known.
ridge covered in reprod timber… that is, youngAdam's elk was already in his truck and Greg's was
growth approximately six to eight years old. It waswaiting at the edge of a small logging trace, ready to
about fifteen feet (5 m) high and just an inch or two inload.
girth. They can grow quite thickly, blanketing the