| One of my favorite hours each week is the one I | | | | group because they need to tell war stories. There are |
| have the honor and privilege of sharing with a group of | | | | bigger needs being met: companionship and |
| men who live at a local long-term care center. I was | | | | reassurance, a sympathetic ear, hearing the "self" in |
| invited into their lives via a call placed to the Retired | | | | others, touching and being touched. It strikes me that |
| Senior Volunteer Program (RSVP).Someone was | | | | loneliness must weaken the spirit, consume emotional |
| needed to help facilitate a discussion group for this | | | | strength and dim the inner flames of all hope, |
| group of men, all of whom had seen combat in World | | | | happiness and meaning.When living in a long-term care |
| War II, Korea, or Vietnam.It didn't take many | | | | facility, how does one solve the dilemma of meeting |
| get-togethers for me to realize that these men had a | | | | new people and spending time engaged in interesting |
| lot to say. However, like many men of a certain era, | | | | and rewarding activities? I suspect that successfully |
| they were not initially eager to speak of much other | | | | wrestling with loneliness is much more than "keeping |
| than women, food or baseball. With time and trust, the | | | | busy," which is often a way to minimize and avoid |
| content deepened emotionally. I started to see the | | | | feelings while not looking at what might make us |
| group as less about veterans and more about issues | | | | happy.Sometimes it starts with telling war |
| of aging: loneliness vs. intimacy, the search for | | | | stories.Lawrence Bienemann is the RSVP Program |
| belonging, and the pressure to find a sense of meaning | | | | Coordinator in Vermont's Northeast Kingdom. |
| "about life."By now I'm certain they don't come to the | | | | |